Picture the scene… you meet for the first time, your date become a bona fide, real-life, three-dimensional person; a person who smiles, flirts … but who also smells, snorts and farts like everyone else. In this guide, we tell you the 4 ways to escape the date from hell.
The reality is, we all make decisions about that elusive thing called attraction within seconds. That’s chemistry, and we seldom have much control over it. Sure, sometimes attraction grows, but more often than not, it’s either there or it’s not.
So, if you meet for a first date, and the chemistry isn’t there, what do you do?
1. The honesty option:
How it works: Tell them very quickly that you’re sorry, but they’re not the person you expected them to be, and it won’t work.
Advantage: this approach is frank and honest, doesn’t lead anyone on, and doesn’t waste anyone’s time.
Disadvantage: It could be seen as being rude, “who are you to say you’re not interested?!”, and perhaps you’re wrong and haven’t got to know them yet. Perhaps they’re just nervous and not being the real them.
2. The pre-arranged excuse:
How it works: You can easily cut the date short by arriving with an excuse in mind; just mention it as soon as you say hello.
Advantage: It’s less confrontational and there’s not need to think on your feet. If things go better than expected, you can always unpick your excuse and stay longer.
Disadvantage: If you really don’t want to meet the person again, you still have to tell them that (or just ignore them, but that’s rude, right?).
3. The mock emergency:
How it works: This is the old classic, have a friend ring you at a pre-set time with a mock emergency.
Advantage: You can use or not use the excuse, depending how things are going.
Disadvantage: Having tried this myself once, it can be really obvious! So unless you do it well, you’ll probably just appear rude and disingenuous!
4. Grin & bear it:
How it works: Make polite conversation, but be firm about not wanting another drink or to go on somewhere else.
Advantage: This often works well, and probably gives the signal you’re trying to give without being rude or confrontational. It also gives you time to change your mind; first impressions aren’t always right.
Disadvantage: If the person still likes you, they may not get the message, and you’ll have to be frank later on. But you don’t necessarily have to do that in person, which might be easier if you’re not great with confrontation.
Have you used another tactic to get out of a date from hell, which you think works better? We’d love to hear how you escape from bad first dates.
If you’d like to go out on a first date in the form of a fun, stress-free event with like-minded fellow daters, then check out Two Can Meet. We organise drinks parties at hidden city locations where we combine the casualness of a bar environment with folk that share similar interests to you. Our hosts gradually guide you around so that you get to meet everyone and find the perfect person.